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The Art of Years

by Belle Shea

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1.
Here is what I need to tell you, darling Here is what I need for you to know You broke when it was easiest to break You left when it was easiest to go Here is what I need to tell you, darling Here is what I need for you to hear You took when it was easiest to take You fled when it was easiest to fear And now the times they are a-changin' Like the locks upon my door And I don't know if we can go back To who we were before I don't know if I want that anymore I don't know if I want that anymore So here is what I'm gonna tell you, darling Here is what I know it's time to say That somehow I'm gonna hold it together Some day I'm gonna get to be better Sometime I'll leave behind these dark days And I'd bring you but it seems you wanna stay So now there's something in me that keeps pulling away
2.
Don't you miss me just a little bit? Why aren't you wondering where I've been? Don't you ask why you're not over it? Why can't you sink and not swim? And I'm not asking for you to go off And drown for me But why do you have to be so easily satisfied? Does the thought of me never keep you up at night? And everything is changing, day by day So say - don't go away Why aren't you grasping at strings to hold onto? Why are you doing just fine? If that's all in the past for you Why are you still stuck in my mind? And I would tell you to leave you know If I wanted you to But why do you have to be so easily satisfied? Does the thought of me never keep you up at night? And everything is changing, day by day So say - don't go away If I were there with you, I'd say don't fall asleep If I were there for you, I'd say there are secrets that we shouldn't keep If I were there for you If you were there for me But why do you have to be so easily satisfied? Does the thought of me never keep you up at night? And everything is changing, day by day So say - don't go away No, don't go away No, don't go away Won't you ask me to stay?
3.
Let me get this You'll regret this In six months or so Bet this restless heart's The best one You'll never know Cause in this smoke and mirrors I see clearer than you do One day you'll look back Hear my silver laugh And curse yourself for acting like a fool Just admit this You can't quit this So easily Toss and turn And burn up Dreaming on what could be Cause in this smoke and mirrors I see clearer than you do One day you'll look back Hear my silver laugh And curse yourself for acting like a fool You'll look back, and you'll look back And wish that you had broken every rule When the smoke clears And I'm not here And you piece the mirror back from broken glass And you look back And your heart chokes On all the smoke
4.
Will you always be that voice calling over my shoulder? Will you always be that fire that keeps getting colder? Will you always be the anchor that's holding me tight? Will you always be the last thing that I think of at night? Will you always be that ghost that keeps me writing off springtime? Will you always be that sweet drop of whiskey inside summer wine? Will you always be a dream from which I never wake? Will you always be my favorite bad decision to make? Go ahead and tell me that it's all true Dream of me so I can say I never dream of you Go ahead and tell me that it's all true Dream of me so I can say I never dream of you What we used to be We never were What we used to be We were never sure Oh, yeah
5.
Easy to Love 02:39
I go chasing off in too many circles Down too many side streets Till I fall down I make you dizzy, always busy I'm not scared of the dark But you are, and we go Round and round I try to play by the rules But I change them every night I tell you to hold me closer You already hold too tight And I know, I know I'm wrong, you're right But just for this night from up above Will you pretend that I'm easy to love? I ask for everything all at once And all because I can't stand Thinking that there might be more And I'll offer you a road map to find me But all the pages are ripped out And all the points on the compass point north I thought I was a frozen over river But you're a frozen over lake You're always counting all the things I give you That you say you can never take And I know, I know This was a mistake But just for this night from up above Will you pretend that I'm easy to love? Why can't I believe you when you say that we're no good? You say you see through me The problem is you never could I know I hit too hard I know I fall too fast I know I want too much I know that we won't last But just for this night from up above Will you pretend that I'm easy to love? Just for this night from up above Will you pretend that I'm easy to love?
6.
I turned over in my sleep last night So cold I could barely breathe I thought I felt a rush like a star burning by But it was too dark outside to see I know it wasn't mine I know it wasn't mine Mine's here with me I felt a rumble like a cold black wind And for months now it's kept me awake I drove up and down the coast four times And I dove into oceans and lakes And I dreamed of nights that ran with sand Like rivers through my hair And I thought on times I danced and shivered in the blue night air Oh, with a star I wouldn't share Oh, with a star I wouldn't share I drank rum red like roses And gold like city lights I sat on park benches And I watched strangers pass by in a blur I heard the rustle and the bustle Of the coats on the throats of him and her Oh, I let go of the feeling of feeling sure Oh So now I'll go down by the docks And listen to the clocks Tick by in my ears I'll watch the water lap up on the rocks And sit counting all my thoughts While I stay rooted here With all the things that I'm afraid of That one day I might forget to fear
7.
Yours is a watered down love I mix with wine I keep drinking from your cup Thinking I'll feel fine I don't know if I'll run out of words For you, anytime soon I don't know if I want to Yours is a battered coat That doesn't keep me from the cold Still I button up Despite what I've been told I don't know if I'll last till June I don't know if I want to Don't keep me warm Don't keep me sober Don't let me in It will be over Yours is a papier-mâché mask I use to cover up my eyes It was never made to last But still it keeps me blind So all I see through working eyes Is black and blue And I don't know If I want to Don't keep me warm Don't keep me sober Don't let me in It will be over Yours is a night filled with stars I never could count And while I was looking up I got knocked to the ground I don't know if I'll climb back up soon I don't know if I want to I don't know if I'll run out of words For you, anytime soon I don't know If I want to
8.
Wolf & I 03:09
I'm so tired I can't sleep straight I go in circles when I try I get all lost and crossed And dizzy in my mind And my heart's not broken but it's bruised I'm confused at how it's being used I keep choosing all the same mistakes Until I've taken all that I can take And I lost my hood somewhere in the woods I stained the sheets all red I bled the rivers dry The wolf and I We're all heavy teeth and swollen tongues Battered hearts and bellowed lungs And we see red and we go numb Oh my god, look what we've become And all this pain keeps showing sharpened teeth It howls cause it can't bear to speak I can't keep getting this weak on a weekday night Not when it's just the wolf and I You know it hunts me out of house and home I hide from help, I'm all alone I don't know half of what I think I've known I keep growing, when will I be grown I'm gonna let this hurt and hope consume me I don't know how to be some new me This anxiety inside of me is trying to eat me up alive Hate that I'm this burden soaked in bourbon I'm uncertain half the time I'm alright, until I'm aching and I'm breaking And it's taking up the hours I wanna fill my restless days with wildflowers I wanna eat up the world and pull down the moon I want everything to come too soon I keep turning empty pages Spilled my soul on darkened stages I keep burning through the ages Nothing changes I keep turning empty pages Spilled my soul on darkened stages I keep burning through the ages Nothing changes I keep turning empty pages Spilled my soul on darkened stages I keep burning through the ages Nothing changes The wolf and I The wolf and I The wolf and I
9.
Ireland 03:35
Take it down Let the pages fly Empty clouds Fill up ageless skies But I'm leaving now I'm counting down the miles I'm gonna find out who I am I'm going off to Ireland Sullen bones Heavy heart and mind Spent a year Only killing time But I'm leaving now I'm getting outta town Cause that's just not who I am I'm going off to Ireland Ah Ah Ah The whole world Says wait your turn Count your breaths, baby steps There's much more to learn But I'm leaving now It's gonna be awhile I'm gonna come back when I understand I'm going off to Ireland
10.
Art of Years 02:27
Back to the start I learn the art of years How to quiet my doubts And banish my fears And the tears that once fell They don't fall anymore Just the rain that knocks nice at the door Just the rain that knocks nice at the door I took all my time And I saved it all up I bottled the pain And I drank from its cup It was bitter enough I won't drink any more Wash my lips with the kiss of the rain at my door Ah, let me in Ah, let me win I learned how to balance And how to stand still And now I know how I don't know if I will Had my fill of the rain that knocks nice at the door . . .

credits

released January 3, 2020

Music and Lyrics by Belle Shea
Produced by Jason Sill
Engineered by Hannah Tobias
Vocals performed by Belle Shea
Guitar performed by Belle Shea, Jason Sill
Bass Guitar performed by Jason Sill
Piano performed by Matt Goldstein
Cello performed by Violet Tzu-Hsuan Wang
Drums performed by Mikiya Ito
Violin performed by Rachel Feldhaus, Jason Sill
Mixed and Mastered by Chris Brown
Recorded at Clubhouse, Rhinebeck, NY
Album artwork by Belle Shea
Digital artwork edits by Colleen Curry

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Belle Shea New York, New York

"a hybrid of Lorde & Joni Mitchell with a sound that is characteristically her own" (Divide & Conquer album reviews)

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